I don't want to be in school anymore. I know it makes me a more well-rounded individual and that I can't get a decent job in this economy without an education. Yadda yadda yadda. I just don't have the passion; I see people all around me who genuinely love what they're doing. They're on a well-defined path to a future career sure to yield contentedness (and a sweet paycheck, for the lucky ones). I've been a go-with-the-flow type gal all my life, but I've hit a brick wall. Forward doesn't seem like an option anymore. I want to go off and find my own little nook in the world where I can curl up with a cup of tea and a book. I want to do my learning (and earning) on my own terms. But most of all, I want my sentence here to be over; I'm done being judged by such subjective, meaningless standards. So I can't adjust a supply or demand curve to make up for inflation as well as I can whip up a creme brulee. So what?
I want to tell people's stories. I want to introduce the world to real, flawed people. I want them to see themselves in my words, and I want them to be better for reading them.
Straight A's, perfect attendance, a flawless transcript -- If that's what it means to be successful, then I can't be successful according to your terms.
1 comment:
Rough day, rough week, rough time, eh? I know that being in college can really suck some times. Classes seem useless, friends let you down, parents are - well just old and out of touch - and for you too far away to give you the break from campus that helps recharge if only for a day. I'm sorry about that.
I hope your excursion to Iowa helped!
For the record, straight A's, perfect attendance, and a flawless transcript are not what it means to be successful, but bits and pieces of it now and then help to reach your own level of success somewhere down the road.
And your goal of telling people's stories - fantastic - you'll do that well. You are on a good path, and it really isn't terminal, I promise!
You know all this - I'm just preaching to the choir aren't I?
When we get to Spokane I'll take you out for a pedicure and then a latte/chai and you can tell me how it's feeling "now"!
Keep your chin up - I love you!
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