I'm done.

I don't want to be in school anymore. I know it makes me a more well-rounded individual and that I can't get a decent job in this economy without an education. Yadda yadda yadda. I just don't have the passion; I see people all around me who genuinely love what they're doing. They're on a well-defined path to a future career sure to yield contentedness (and a sweet paycheck, for the lucky ones). I've been a go-with-the-flow type gal all my life, but I've hit a brick wall. Forward doesn't seem like an option anymore. I want to go off and find my own little nook in the world where I can curl up with a cup of tea and a book. I want to do my learning (and earning) on my own terms. But most of all, I want my sentence here to be over; I'm done being judged by such subjective, meaningless standards. So I can't adjust a supply or demand curve to make up for inflation as well as I can whip up a creme brulee. So what?
I want to tell people's stories. I want to introduce the world to real, flawed people. I want them to see themselves in my words, and I want them to be better for reading them.

Straight A's, perfect attendance, a flawless transcript -- If that's what it means to be successful, then I can't be successful according to your terms.

Matt Versus

Premise: in an attempt to save lil' kids from their own stupidity, a children's television show pitting Matt against the various hazards in the world was developed. The following are plot ideas for said show:
Matt versus Geese
Matt versus Crack-Addicted 13-Year-Olds
Matt versus Gravity
Matt versus Inertia
Matt versus Spy Vs. Spy
Matt versus The Elements (as in weather, not those in the periodic table)
Matt versus Traffic
Matt versus Fish
Matt versus Grizzly (on land)
Matt versus Grizzly (salmon-style)
Matt versus Dumpster Divers
Matt versus Trans-gendered Vegas Hookers
Matt versus The Mob
Matt versus Irony

My beef.

I'm sick and tired of hearing conservationists claim that drilling for oil in ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge) will destroy the tundra and kill off the animals. First off, people who camplaign (campaign+complain) so heavily to protect this environment need to educate themselves on exactly what it is they're so vehemently trying to save. We're not dealing with some lush Alaskan wilderness from a National Geographic magazine. No, my friends, we're dealing with an Arctic desert which is frozen solid for about 9 months of the year. I don't mean to downplay the importance of this place, nor do I condone it's destruction. Which brings me to my second point.
As much as uninformed individuals claim drilling operations destroy the environments in which they take place, this simply is not the case. I've seen first-hand the extent to which companies go to in order to ensure the well-being of the environment. It is vital to the life cycle of tundra that the permafrost below it remain frozen year-round. As a result, all facilities (which produce a tremendous amount of heat during their operations) are on raised gravel pads, raising them 4-6 feet off the tundra. In addition, the facility buildings themselves are on stilts to minimize the heat transferred to the tundra. In addition to shielding the tundra from heat, the pads also function to provide a catch-all for spills and driving surfaces for vehicles. No vehicle, under any circumstances, is allowed to drive on the tundra. The pipelines criss-crossing across the land are also a significant source of heat, so to protect the fragile plant-life all support beams are heavily insulated.
Case number two against drilling operations: it kills off wildlife. Untrue. The Prudhoe Bay drilling sites are directly in the path of caribou migrations, but instead of impeding their progress, the drill sites draw the caribou in droves. The pads and roads give the creatures sanctuary from the clouds of mosquitoes, and the shade provided under the facilities provides a reprieve from the sweltering 70-degree days (note: temperatures that high cause facilities to shut down; they function better during sub-zero winter days). All employees, save for the few trained bear-hazers, are prohibited from approaching or harassing wildlife. Because of this rule, I found myself stuck in a drill site Control Room for nearly an hour when the pad was invaded by a herd. As for bears, they're doing just fine in the presence of slopers. There are more bears killed by humans, and vice versa, every year in Anchorage than there are in Prudhoe. Humans and bears are in more danger from each other in my parents' neighborhood than they would be in ANWR.
As for litter, they're pretty good about that up there, too. I guarantee that if one was to walk down a street in the Student Ghetto of Lawrence, they would come across more trash than they would if they were to walk the same distance along a road in Prudhoe. BP annually hires college students to pick up trash along the side of the roads, around pads, and around the Cold Storage Pad and dump from June through August. During these months, the only ones where The Slope is snow free, there are Summer Hires picking up trash every day it's safe. The only days they aren't set out are the ones when it's too foggy for them to see bears coming from a distance or be seen from the road.
All this is by no means an attempt to convince anyone that tapping into the reserves in ANWR is the right thing to do. But before you run your mouth about why it's evil to drill for oil there, have an informed opinion. Know what you're talking about, and formulate an argument based on fact, not just emotional appeals. If you think the only reason it's wrong is because of what drilling does to the Arctic, take a minute to reevaluate your stance on the issue. If you think it's wrong because we should be exploring alternate energy options, then come up with an argument based on that. Don't use an imaginary destruction of the Arctic environment to convince gullible and uninformed people of your opinion.

Rant number 2:
Hey, Vic Vickers!
Thank God there are so many non-Alaskans willing to work to save us. I mean, really, thank you Vic Vickers for campaigning to replace Ted Stevens as Senator. No matter that you moved from Florida and switched political parties to do so. If that doesn't make you qualified to represent us, I just don't know what does. It really is a travesty that less than 5% of voting Alaskans found you worthy of replacing Mr. Stevens. The man has only been involved in Alaskan politics since before the state actually entered the Union. Your motto of "Take back Alaska" was supremely appropriate considering both your past and that of the man you thought you stood a chance against. Damn naive Alaskans, failing to elect you.
So much for objectivity.

Couch Pains

There are two directions this entry took while being formed in my head. One was me bitching about my chronically strained and spasming back, and the other was going to turn into me driveling on about independence. I don't really like the sound of either of those, so I'm going to stop typing now and come back when I have something a little less worthless to contribute. (I guess that means this may be goodbye for a while)

Prudhoe Crazy

"Do you want a peanut?"
"No."
"Do you want ALL the peanuts?"

"If it's foggy in the morning, you're the first to die."

"I got you a present! It's Tetanus!"

"Hey Katelin! Katelin it's your lucky day! I found the rope you can hang yourself with!"

"Jessalin has been threatening to murder me all day. Reprimand her."

"I win. Go lick the truck. Truck licker."

"Double jinx. You owe me your soul."

"Shit. I need a pastry."

"I promise not to pee your truck."

"It wasn't as long as I thought it'd be - that's what she said!"

"How many times have we said 'fuck' in this conversation? That's a second-week word!"

"I just had a revelation. I'm going to break up with my girlfriend tonight!"

As concocted by two drunk Trekkies:

Blue Planet Drinking Game

1 Drink for all
drinking does not occur during credits
montage rule: instances en masse are counted as 5 drinks total (i.e. dolphins eating a school of fish/feeding frenzies = 5 drinks)

-English pronunciations/British versions of words (“nutriment”)
-superlatives
-when CGI is suspected (motion must be seconded)
-death (must be onscreen, though implied deaths are debatable. i.e., carcasses are not drunk to, though animals whose perils are observed may be)
-”SAT” words are used (words whose definitions are determined by context)
-inappropriate/common/off-color words/references are used (“weird,” etc.)
-factuality is called into question (with believable backing-up)*
-computer-created sound effects (introduction only, subsequent instances of the same sound effect are not drunk to)
-crisis music/animals going into crisis mode (music must represent plight of prey)
-people on screen
-the importance of the sun is mentioned
-”holy shit moments”/players are rendered speechless
-emotional appeals (i.e. misrepresentation of evolution, ”killers”/”murderous” to describe predation, narrator is overly vague/speculative)*
-animal cuteness is disputed
-filming of series results in scientific firsts
-bastard takings-advantage-of (i.e. eating/killing of babies and/or eggs, unfair advantages)
-symbiosis is mentioned/shown
-uncountable breedings occur on screen
-initiations on tangential hilarity

*all subjective occurrences must have at least one concurrence

Bitches.

So tomorrow I'm off again. Another 2-week adventure in paint fumes and tundra funk. I hope to God that this isn't the hitch they send us all to the dump to bag up trash for burying. Plodding my way through the tundra for 12 hours broke me enough, I can't imagine what the same amount of time in a dump would do to my spirit.
On another note, a teenage girl was mauled by a Grizzly about a half mile from my parents house a few days ago and I came home to a black bear in the driveway today. As much as I hate to be going back to work, I can't help but think that this a good time to be getting out of the area.
All is not lost in the world of me, however. I got paid on Friday!